Modeling is a tricky business. It might seem like models just spend an hour at work, have some photos taken and then stay up all night at cocaine parties, but the world of the pretty is competitive and often vicious. The little people just don't understand how models release their frustrations--throw one telephone at one peasant and suddenly you're the lead in "When Models Attack." We call it violence; they call it justice.
Take Jessica White. As a Sports Illustrated model who dates the famously even-tempered Sean Penn, she should be able to easily get into a cab, right? Well, she was trying to do just that last week when some woman who was probably ugly got in her way. What else was Jessica to do but pull her hair and strike her "numerous times in the face with her hand, causing abrasions, swelling and substantial pain"?
People just don't understand the stresses models face, and White certainly isn't the first to go into a fit of rage to deal with these stresses. In fact, we've got a whole list of the world's maddest models and their terrifying stories.
Naomi Campbell
The Queen Bee. The Original. Numero Uno. The woman who started the "models be crazy" trend. Campbell's rap sheet is long: She hit one assistant with a phone and hit a later assistant with a BlackBerry (Naomi’ s been hitting assistants since the days of the rotary dial). She once left an actress "covered in blood," she hit a housekeeper with a "jewel-encrusted" phone AND she assaulted a police officer at the airport. And that's the edited version! She's done more! And that, friends, is what elevates someone from the lowly ranks of model to the stratosphere of SUPERmodel.
May Andersen
The famous Dane was arrested for hitting a flight attendant on a flight from Amsterdam to Miami. (She was coming from Amsterdam and she wasn’t a bit, uh…mellower?) She claimed that she was asleep and pushed him out of the way but ended up having to take an anger management course for her fit of air rage.
Bianca Golden
Once again, it's the airport. Bianca Golden, who was never really a model but was on the Tyra Banks Pretty Lady Program, simply moved a few bags out of her way and things got crazy. Those bags belonged to actress Nikki Blonsky, and a fight began. Somehow, both parents got involved in the violence, resulting in arrests and, eventually, everyone's release on bail.
Elyse Sewell
Elyse Sewell, fondly remembered by everyone who watched the first season of "America's Next Top Model" for being the cute awkward indie girl, got in a fight with former keyboardist Marty Crandall of formerly famous adult alternative life-changers The Shins. He got violent, she bit his arm and he pressed domestic violence charges. She then used the phrase "widening gyre" in a blog post about the incident, because she's not just pretty, she's smart too. We miss you, Elyse!
Brandy Rusher
Another one from "America's Next Top Model"! What the hell is Tyra doing to these poor girls? The police got a call about loud music coming from Rusher's apartment one night, and once they got there, she "assaulted" them (pushing and shoving, which, come on). So this is a fake model with a fake assault charge. Someday you’ ll make it, Brandy!
Karen Mulder
Karen Mulder, a model who's been called "troubled" and "fallen" (always bad signs), isn't quite at Naomi level yet. But give her time. She's starting off right, by making threatening phone calls to her plastic surgeon. But she needs to remember this lesson: A model threatens with a phone; a supermodel attacks with a phone. Be a supermodel, Karen.