Bet you didn't know Danny DeVito could've been your favorite onscreen uncle. And you probably didn't know he could've been North Jersey's premiere cosmetician (seriously, he's a licensed cosmetician).
There are a lot of things about Mr. DeVito, the actor, director and producer, that you may not know. After all, the guy's been with us for 66 years today. That's right, he's today's birthday boy. And we plan to celebrate his birthday just like we celebrated Bill Murray's birthday and Jeff Goldblum's birthday, by revisiting six characters he almost played. Let's do this!
Sallah, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981)
If it weren't for that scene where Sallah gives Indy a massive bear hug, we could've totally seen DeVito as the kindhearted sidekick. As it turns out, director Steven Spielberg saw DeVito as the perfect Sallah too. Spielberg, who knew the script called for a thin 5-foot-2-inch desert-dwelling Arab, offered DeVito the part, but he had to pass since he already committed to filming the sitcom "Taxi." So the director moved onto his second choice, a hefty and bearded John Rhys-Davies.
Uncle Buck, "Uncle Buck" (1989)
Who doesn't love gigantic pancakes, drunken clowns, bowling and Danny DeVito? Well, it seems the casting director for "Uncle Buck" didn't. Fresh off the film "Twins," DeVito was considered and then rejected for the role of Buck Russell in this most excellent comedy. Instead, the role went to John Candy. Sure, Candy did an awesome job playing an unemployed uncle who got stuck with his rich nieces and nephew for the weekend, but DeVito could've really nailed the whole gambling problem Uncle Buck had when it came to horses–-mainly rigging the races.
George Costanza, "Seinfeld" (1989)
It's pretty obvious why Larry David considered DeVito for the part of George Costanza. He already knew DeVito could hold his own when it came to sitcom characters (Louie De Palma, "Taxi"--enough said) and just look at the guy. He's short, stocky, bald, neurotic, self-loathing, cheap, selfish and dishonest. Perfect! Come to think of it, DeVito's Frank Reynolds is pretty much an unshowered, sweatpants-wearing George Costanza. Anyway, DeVito didn't get the role; Jason Alexander did, even though Nathan Lane, Steve Buscemi, David Alan Grier, Brad Hall and Larry Miller were all up for it. So don't be sad, Danny, you're in good company.
John Kimble, "Kindergarten Cop" (1990)
Detective John Kimble is one of those roles that just one actor could do justice, and that actor was, of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger. But before the casting directors settled on Schwarzenegger, they were eyeing not only DeVito but also Bill Murray to play the tough street cop who's forced to take an undercover assignment as a kindergarten teacher. While DeVito's small stature landed him other roles, it worked against him this time. We think it turned out the right way; it would have been awkward watching DeVito run through smoke-filled hallways carrying a kid a third his size down the stairs. And, again, "It's not a tumor," sounds best coming from Schwarzenegger.
Mario, "Super Mario Bros." (1993)
You're childhood could've been a heck of a lot better had DeVito not backed out of the role of Mario in "Super Mario Bros." Actually, "Super Mario Bros." would have been a heck of a lot better had DeVito not backed out. Trust us, it'd be like "Ghostbusters" without Bill Murray. Now we're not knocking Bob Hoskins, who stepped in for DeVito, but just think of how amazing it would have been if DeVito and John Leguizamo, playing Luigi, were running around among evolved dinosaurs and bouncing off mushrooms while trying to save the world.
Chili Palmer, "Get Shorty" (1995)
It's not often that one actor is up for multiple parts in one film, but DeVitos' not your run of the mill actor. The man's played everything from a gambler to a district attorney, so a Miami-based loan shark wouldn't seem far off. But the role of Chili Palmer in "Get Shorty" went to John Travolta after Quentin Tarantino talked him into it and DeVito stepped in as Martin "Shorty" Weir, a well-meaning but self-centered movie star.