Tired of the same boring condoms? Want to add some style to your Apple electronics, or put the confidence and cool demeanor into your pasta sauce?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then this line of swagified products will be perfect for you. Back in 2009, SwagCo Founder, CEO and Big-Swingin'-D*** In Chief Leo Smizzley was preparing his date a lovely Italian dinner before a certain sexual encounter. All he had in his pad was a bottle of lifeless, unconfident Ragu. Leo's date was unimpressed. Leo managed to charm the pants off his company anyway, but as he looked at a full pack of Magnums (being very well endowed, there aren't many contraceptive choices for the SwagCo boss), he fancied how much more arousing the experience would be if the condom had a diamond tip.
So after Leo kicked the young lass out of his place, he got to work swagifying some of Americans' most essential products, and SwagCo was born. Among others, Leo & Co. have already swagified condoms, pasta sauce, Apple electronics, vitamins, Powerbars and the Snuggie. If you're sick of the same old, like Leo was, come browse some of SwagCo's best sellers and add some swag to your life.
1. Swagamins
One of SwagCo's best-selling items, Swagamins© are specially designed for men who want to grab life by the balls. Contains just gold, no iron, as well as one secret ingredient, which may or may not be Samuel L. Jackson's sweat. Only $39.99 a bottle.
2. Swaggerbar
If your workouts have plateaued and you haven't tried the Swaggerbar© yet, it's no wonder! You'll get the same Powerbar nutrition, but Swaggerbar's pimp juice flava is formulated to boost your swag and make all the hotties in your gym wish you were squatting their rack. $6.99 per bar.
3. Swagintosh
Gold-plated and diamond-encrusted, our line of Swagintosh© products is pretty much Macintosh with jewels on it. If it's not a Swagintosh, it's not a Swagintosh. Suck it, Jobs. Prices vary. Please call customer service for details.
4. Swagu
Just like Leo, you deserve some fully loaded cups with your pasta dinner. Perfect for lasagna and Italian women who appear shy but really want to jump on your sausage. $8.99 a bottle.
5. Swaggie
We had Lil Wayne and Jay-Z test our Swaggies© and they loved them! Made with highest quality threads, spend a winter in one of these puppies and you'll win a Grammy in no time. $74.99 each. Available in small, medium, playa and XXL.
6. Swagnums
A friendly game of "just the tip" has never been more erotic with Swagnums'© unique diamond tip. And that's just the beginning. Like Leo always says, go balls deep or go home! $24.99/pack.