If you watched WWE's "Elimination Chamber" pay-per-view this past Sunday, you're upset that you wasted your time on that bowl of doo-doo and would have rather spent your money at a run-down strip club that reeks of cigarettes and sweat instead. That's why this week's Wrestling Rehash column has been affectionately coined "The Elimination Shame-ber." Yes, there was some good this week from John Cena (shocker!) and some ugly that resulted in one of the top stars getting injured for no damn reason, but the WWE's PPV gets top billing simply because of how pointless it ended up being.
The Good: John Cena Cuts A Mean Promo
It was tough to choose out of this and Triple H and The Undertaker's awesome promo that saw HHH finally agree to face the Deadman at "Wrestlemania" in a Hell In A Cell match (hooray!). However, it's pretty rare that we ever say something good about John Cena so his promo on The Rock gets the nod for this week.
For once, John Cena ditched the schlocky shtick and opted to keep it real when addressing his upcoming match with The Rock at "Wrestlemania." Gone was the corny, trying-too-damn-hard Cena and in comes a guy that totally delivers on the mic. It's no secret that The Rock is the fan favorite heading into "Wrestlemania." However, Cena totally undressed The Rock phenomena with a scathing promo that reiterated the fact that he's no longer "The People's Champ" and he's now "A Champion With People." He's not #TeamBringIt, he's now #TeamFilmIt. Cena tore into The Rock's return and painted him out as an opportunist looking to build his own image rather than the company's. For once, we don't feel bad rooting for Cena alongside the kiddies.
The Bad: Entire 'Elimination Chamber'
This middling pay-per-view that serves as a buffer between "Royal Rumble" and "Wrestlemania" is a complete sham to begin with. Rather than there be a seamless build of story lines from the "Royal Rumble" in January to "Wrestlemania" in April, the WWE has decided to throw in a PPV filled with matches that either break the momentum or are so predictable that you can't justify to your worst enemy why they should cough up $50 to watch it.
This year was no different. Both "Elimination Chamber" matches were solid, but everyone pretty much knew that neither CM Punk or Daniel Bryan would lose their respective titles. Everyone also knew that Beth Phoenix wasn't losing her title with the possible match with juggernaut Kharma looming. Toss in a craptastic Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel match and Sheamus not-so-shockingly announcing that he'll be facing Daniel Bryan at "'Mania" and you have a lame PPV.
But the kicker is that the main event was an ambulance match between John Cena and Kane that promised a payoff after weeks of a nonsensical story line that insulted your intelligence. Would Cena embrace the hate? Would The Rock come spoil the fun? Would Zack Ryder or Eve Torres interfere? The correct answer is none of the above. All we got was a boring match that saw the musclebound Cena toss Kane off an ambulance and into a bin of bubble wrap and styrofoam. The end. Roll the credits. No payoffs. And like R-Truth says, "You got, got!"
The Ugly: Wade Barrett Injures Arm
So, even though its a foregone conclusion that Chris Jericho will be challenging CM Punk for the WWE Championship at "Wrestlemania," creative decided that it would be a good idea to add a nonsensical 10-man battle royal to figure out who the No. 1 contender would be to end "Raw." You know what they ended up getting out of it? An injury to Wade Barrett that's significant enough to keep him out of "Wrestlemania."
It was a dumb match to begin with, but when Big Show launched Dolph Ziggler out of the ring and onto several WWE stars, Barrett fell awkwardly and dislocated his elbow. Considering that the WWE likely had big plans for him at "Wrestlemania" (our money was on him competing in a Fatal-4-Way match with Sheamus, Bryan and Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship), it really sucks that Barrett is likely out until after the event. And why did they do this? Who knows. We all knew Jericho was going to win. It's not like they built additional angles out of it. Good job guys, now you get a top shelf wrestler who will be sitting on the shelf with an injury.