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A few days ago we showed you the shocking transformation of the now 38-year-old Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies) from "Saved By The Bell." A quick refresher:


Credit: "Saved By The Bell"; Yahoo!

Done spitting out your drink? Well there's still hope yet. Right when we needed the universe to tell us that everything will be all right, Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years" is proving that not all of our childhood (wet) dreams have to be pulverized by time and cosmetic work. Danica McKellar, the 37-year-old mother of one who played Winnie 19 years ago, stepped out in L.A. the other night to reveal that she looks just how we imagined she would in our "Wonder Years" fantasies back in the day.
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Sara Eisen, just one of the many lovely gals gracing our list of hottest TV news reporters, had a wardrobe malfunction live on Bloomberg while talking about international Facebook shares or some crap. Here's the scenario: one anchor tosses to Sheila (who also made our list) who begins yammering about "fiduciary" and "arbitrage" and whatever. But her mic isn't picking it up, so the cameraman quickly pans over to Sara, who has her skirt hiked WAY up at the :22 mark. Realizing she's on camera, she quickly pulls it down and tries to gather herself. See for yourself:

But, what the hell is that black thing in her lap??

Is it some elaborate garter? Her mic pack? A handgun? A portable 'do? You'll notice before going to Sheila, at about eight seconds, you can see Sara chatting with a male colleague. What were they talking about? Was she showing him something, like in "Christmas Vacation" when Clark Griswold hits up the lingerie counter?

Maybe it's just a ratings ploy to get people to watch more financial news. We're not surprised that Bloomberg, the undisputed leader in hot news ladies, beat Fox News to the punch.

Any ideas, hit us up on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook

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There's nothing less sexy than the opera. Stuffy old aristocrats, old ladies holding up those diamond-encrusted glasses on a stick, people singing in Viking helmets. We'll pass.

Wait! Foxy British opera singer Katherine Jenkins has made us rethink our opinion on opera. She's got major crossover appeal (read: she's crazy hot). Sure, your mom may know about Jenkins because she's on "Dancing With The Stars." But we hadn't heard of her until this morning, when we saw the headlines splashed everywhere: "Katherine Jenkins has DWTS Meltdown." We didn't know what that meant, but we saw the accompanying screencaps of her wearing belly dancer garb, and we couldn't help ourselves from investigating further. Ya know, for work.

Off to the ol' Google Image machine. And then we wondered how we hadn't heard of this lovely blond 31-year-old with the jaw-dropping body. Oh, and she's a mad decent singer, too. We didn't want you guys to have to live in a Katherine Jenkins-free world like we had, so here you go. We think maybe those credit report commercials and public access broadcasts have been lying to us about fat ladies and the opera all this time.
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Credit: "Saved By The Bell"; Yahoo!

Ugh, this story is just the saddest. A story about baby seals getting poached so that a North Korean sweatshop could turn their coats into fabrics for Kim Kardashian's Target fashion line wouldn't be as depressing as this news.

What the f*** happened to Lisa Turtle's face? She was secretly the hottest girl on "Saved By The Bell." But "secretly" is the key: the actress Lark Voorhies never got enough hotness cred. And because we never appreciated her enough, she had a crisis, feeling the need to transform her face into...into whatever you'd call that up there, the harrowing result of some hellish mix of Botox, minor surgeries and microdermabrasions. And now her crisis is causing us to experience an existential crisis.
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Our favorite broken-English-spouting sitcom actress is back on the market! According to Us Weekly, "Modern Family" star and probable Fountain of Youth discoverer Sofia Vergara split up with her longtime boyfriend who probably has a name but who cares what it is because sorry bro your time's up!

So what does this mean for you? Well, your window of opportunity is small. You have to pounce NOW. We'd say Mother's Day weekend is perfect timing. Sofia is the mother of a 19-year-old. Do something completely heartwarming and emotional. Basically, the exact opposite of what you were going to do for your own mother.

Also, it appears she doesn't like a career man, which is just excellent news. Turns out her ex was a real Suit, trying to run for Congress and steal her celebrity shine for some lame-ass political attention. F*** that noise, Sofia just wants a man who will be there to relax her after a hard day of posing on the red carpet and shilling Pantene. And now you can be that directionless man cooing in her ear while she squawks in yours!

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They don't make roller derby girls like those in the above photo...and we're absolutely fine with that. Hell, we'll admit it. We like the tough, tattooed, pierced and dyed ladies that roller derby attracts and/or churns out. We've found ourselves at many a roller derby match just to see the beautiful checks, slams and punches from these ballerinas missing teeth. It's like watching choreographed Suicide Girls on skates. However, we'll be totally honest, we do not know any of the rules of roller derby. We just figured it's like professional wrestling, where the rules are more of an afterthought.

Luckily we ran into the below infographic from Andrew Barr, Mike Faille and Jonathan Rivait of the National Post. It breaks down the anatomy of a roller girl (easy now), explains the different positions, what areas are legal to hit, types of blocks and what the goals are in general. Wow, reading back over that sentence just confirms the whole sport is awesomely sexual.
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After her jigglacious "Cat Daddy" dance bounced all over the Internet and back on Tuesday, have you had too much of Kate Upton? That's a trick question. You can never have too much Upton! Thanks be to the YouTube gods, the video is back online. And The Rej3cts have decided they don't want  you to forget about them. Who? The rap collective who created the "Cat Daddy."

"She was definitely feelin' it. She was on her own. She is fire! Oh my god, let me stop, cause I'm gonna get Sports Illustrated…" Mowii, one third of The Rej3ctz, tells Hollyscoop. "They have to call me for her next shoot, cause I am the only one she can shoot with from here on."


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Kate Upton Jiggly Bikini GIFs To Brighten Your Day

By now we've all seen the "Cat Daddy" video, featuring Kate Upton in another impossibly small bikini jiggling around for everyone's viewing pleasure. If you haven't seen it, well shame on you. There are certain things in life you have to make time for -- eating, calling your grandparents, studying -- and this is one of those things. I mean, the video was removed from YouTube for being "too sexual" -- it was just that jiggly.

Lucky for the world, the enterprising minds at Buzzfeed compiled GIFs of the action, and we've shared our favorites from the list. But really, it's like Baskin Robbins, you should just work your way through all the flavors. Below, check out why Kate Upton is clearly not a good dancer, and yet manages to be clearly THE BEST DANCER.

Kate Upton Jiggly Bikini GIFs To Brighten Your Day

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Wayne Gretzky prohibited (requested) his 23-year-old daughter, model/actress Paulina Gretzky from posting risque images of herself on Twitter, according to sources. Well, she found a loophole in The Great One's law. He didn't say anything about sexy photos on Instagram!  Thanks to fine scouting by Jimmy Traina and BroBible, this post contains the result of Paulina Gretzky's latest online photo spree from this weekend. The product of an NHL legend and actress Janet Jones, this gal tumbled down the hotness tree and hit every branch on the way down--plus the foliage and then smashed into exposed roots, somehow giving her the urge to share her sexiness on the web. Well done, tree.

Side note: Who is the dude in the Captain America costume? And will Paulina hang out with anyone dressed as one of The Avengers? Because there's a Black Widow costume we look dreamy wearing.

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HBO's new show "Girls" is taking the world by storm, which is odd because it features nary a vampire nor dragon nor crime boss. It's credited for depicting "realistic" women (in other words, they don't resemble the pun-spouting sentient Soho mannequins from "Sex And The City"). "Girls" has firmly planted itself on the "funny and extremely uncomfortable" end of the comedy spectrum, a place usually reserved for male curmudgeons like Louis C.K. So this is no "female" comedy, it's just a comedy.

You should watch it for all of those reasons. But you should also watch it (**and now, to completely lose whatever lady readers we charmed with the above paragraph**) because it stars the smoking hot Allison Williams. We're talking hot enough to depict Kate Middleton in a Funny or Die sketch. The 23-year-old Yale grad plays "Marnie" on the show, and is the daughter of NBC News anchor and comedy dabbler Brian Williams. Lucky for your eyes, the only thing she seems to have inherited from him is comedic timing, as you can see below. Read More...

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