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How To End A Date In 30 Seconds Or Less: Burping!

Posted 5/4/12 1:00 pm EST by in Big Hits, Comedy, Funny, Relationships, Video


Lindsay Ames' original comedy series of shorts is back at MTV Clutch! "How To End A Date In 30 Seconds Or Less" showcases a variety of horrible dates that end faster than it takes to text message someone to get lost. This latest one features a man that has an interesting talent. "Interesting" is an overstatement and "talent" actually means "something most 10-year-old boys can do." Still his dedication to it during his first date with Lindsay is impressive.

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Kanye West's Dime Line: Ladies He's Yeezy'd [Infographic]

Posted 4/5/12 6:00 pm EST by in Big Hits, Celebs, Infographic, Relationships


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Guy Code's Bracket Of Wisdom: Vote Now For The Championships

Posted 3/30/12 2:15 pm EST by in Comedy, Ladies, Relationships


It's that time, folks. On Wednesday, you narrowed down your favorite "Guy Code" Season 1 wisdom to our last two contenders and we have your Final Four results. Click the topics below to watch a video from each category and make sure to vote after the jump.

In Relationships vs. The Crew, Julian McCullogh battled his own advice with The Friend Zone vs. Wingman. Looks like our readers liked how he compared girls to Vietnam over his brutal honesty of girls not f***ing them—as Wingman took 58.33 percent of the votes.

In Sex vs. Upkeep, Sex continues to be the fan favorite, with Getting Freaky stealing 70.97 percent  of the votes over Manscaping. We're hard-pressed not to side with anything the sexy Melanie Iglesias says, especially when it's her talking about getting horizontal. However, with Upkeep knocked off the bracket, we really hope you guys continue to keep up with your grooming--at least for the sake of those around you.

And there you have it, the final two. Will Sex continue to dominate, or can Julian hold his winning streak and MVP status by bringing home the trophy for The Crew? Vote now to determine the Championship winner of the first ever "Guy Code" Bracket of Wisdom. Check back on Monday for the results and keep an eye out next week for the unveiling of an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" airing April 10 at 11 p.m. on MTV2.

Round Four: The Championship

The Crew vs. Sex


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Guy Code's Bracket Of Wisdom: Round Two Of Your Favorite Advice

Posted 3/26/12 4:00 pm EST by in Comedy, Relationships, TV


Last Thursday to coincide with the NCAA Tournament's Sweet 16, we launched the "Guy Code" Bracket Of Wisdom and allowed you to vote on the best pieces of advice from Season 1 of MTV2's hit show "Guy Code." Thousands of you responded and today we are releasing the results! Starting right now, you can also vote on the advice that made it to the Elite Eight.

In the Relationships Division, Girlfriends scored 76.89 percent of the vote over Cheating. Our readers either really liked Donnell's quote over Andrew's or you're all a bunch of relationship whores. Rounding out this division, it was a much tighter race between The Friend Zone, which nabbed 58.04 percent, and Dating Your Best Friend's Ex. This is the first of Friend Zone representative Julian McCullough's two wins. His token Wingman quote led the way over Fighting in the The Crew Division with a whopping 77 percent of the results. Also in that category, 59 percent of voters picked Pregame Etiquette over Drink Like A Man.

Everyone's favorite division, Sex, predictably received the highest amount of respondents. The Morning After beat Sexting in a 71.68 percent landslide and Getting Freaky, represented by the very sexy Melanie Iglesias, took 61.34 percent of the vote over Contraception. Finally in the Upkeep Division, respondents proved to be weight conscious, choosing Dieting over Bachelor Pad with nearly 60 percent of the vote, while Manscaping took nearly 65 percent of vote in the other matchup over Bathroom Products.

Vote for the next round of matchups below and remember to check back on Wednesday, March 28 for the results and the Final Four round of voting. At the end of this tournament, we will unlock an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" premiering April 10 at 11 p.m. on MTV2.
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Do Gamers Get Girls? [Infographic]

Posted 3/20/12 8:17 am EST by in Games, Infographic, Relationships



Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Convential wisdom says no--gamers do not get girls. It says they decline most social invitations to stay home, play games, eat Cheetos, talk s*** to 10-to-13-year-old  boys on headsets and generally fail to perform normal human activities that would distract them from playing a video game. I'm not a gamer but I've had calls ignored by some for weeks at a time after the release of a new must-have title.

That's my image (read: stereotype) of a gamer. But that's a pretty raw generalization. It's also not necessarily true that gamers don't get girls. The narrower question posed by the infographic is, how does online gaming stack up against online dating? In reaching a conclusion, the chart points to a number of figures highlighting that the online gaming world is populated by women who have a tendency to become attracted to fellow gamers, many of them who travel long distances to meet a lover. This doesn't mean that a lot of gamer guys get girls. Absolutely, unequivocally: no. It just means that some do, and do it by meeting chicks while playing online. Now that's called a win-win.

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How To End A Date In 30 Seconds Or Less: Roses

Posted 3/15/12 12:00 pm EST by in Comedy, Funny, Relationships, Video


Every guy has experienced that awkward moment when a woman selling roses approaches you during a date. The knee-jerk answer is yes, you buy the rose. It's only a couple bucks and makes you look sweet. However, in actual practice, this simple transaction never goes smoothly. You rarely have the exact amount in your wallet. The rose lady "conveniently" never has change, so you break the evening's flow to break a bill or overpay for a wilting rose. Or, if it's a first date, you don't know want to presume you're at the "buying flowers stage" and appear to be "moving too fast." Or it's early in the evening and your date doesn't really want to carry this flower around all night. If you don't buy it, you look like a di**. If you cave and buy it, you look weak or "too nice." It's a lose-lose situation for everyone but the rose lady.

That's why every guy needs a strategy for dealing with "the rose situation." It's different for everyone and unique to each situation, so we won't get into the variations. However, in the following MTV Clutch original video, Nick Rutherford and Lindsay Ames show you the absolute wrong way to answer the rose lady. It's both hilarious and informative.

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Clutch Cognition: Do Women Prefer Clean-Shaven Or Beards?

Posted 3/6/12 1:00 pm EST by in Big Hits, Relationships



Credit: Jason Merritt/Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

If you have a beard, you will repel women. It's something that's long been suspected, but now it's science. According to the Daily Mail, 200 women rated men with and without their beards, and found the clean-shaven look "significantly more attractive." Presumably the food bits resting on pillows of coarse chin hair didn't help the bearded cause.

That said, beards add "gravitas," probably because (Brooklyn notwithstanding) men with beards are usually seen wiping their brows, making their own beef jerky, or giving great directions. Basically, a glorious mass of face fur does "little to attract women" but it totally warns other bros to step the EFF off.

You know how we always hear that women dress not for us, but for other women? Well, yeah, it looks like we do that, too. We may say we're growing the beard out of sheer laziness, but evolution says we're trying to regain some of that alpha-dog mojo--which explains the concept of playoff beards.

So unless you're in the midst of a Cinderella run, shave that thing. Granted, you don't have to go all baby's bottom, because the research found that light stubble got "the highest ratings from women." Shave on Sunday, get laid on Friday night. It's science.

If getting laid isn't reason enough to start shaving, check out this funny yet information video from the Dollar Shave Club. Great idea for a company and marketing video:

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Mishka Shubaly Tells MTV Clutch How To Avoid Picking Up A Stalker

Posted 3/2/12 1:15 pm EST by in Funny, Interview, Relationships


Whether you're a pro athlete or a LARP dungeon master, you've had it happen: you meet a girl, ignore her crazy eyes, hook-up and she turns into an obsessed harpy who knows WAY more about you than she should and is terrifyingly active on your Facebook wall. We're here to help!

Mishka Shubaly has become a bit of a star with his Kindle Singles chronicling twisted and hilarious stories from his booze-fueled, drug-addled, bon-vivant-on-a-budget escapades, and in his newest tale, "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" he recounts a sordid online love story gone horribly awry. It's like "Fatal Attraction" meets "Catfish," but with a juicier twist. So, because of his extensive experience on the subject, we chatted with Mishka to get his tips and tricks for spotting and thwarting stage-five clingers.

As always, he took a disturbing topic and made it darkly funny.
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Naming The Alleged Tim Tebow-Taylor Swift Relationship

Posted 3/1/12 10:45 am EST by in Celebs, News, Relationships, Sports


Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images; Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Tim Tebow sure does seem to be getting passed around (football terminology!) a lot these days. First he was linked to pro skier Lindsey Vonn, then there were rumors that Kim Kardashian wanted to corrupt him, now he's reportedly been spotted on a date with country pop glitter-bot Taylor Swift.

This would be a MASSIVE celebrity romance, a tabloid wet dream (fittingly)--Tebowmania meets Voice Of 1,000 Scorned Girlfriends. So we have to come up with a name for the partnership, to provide our fellow writers out there with a shortcut for the volumes of articles they're going to be writing about these two.

+TayBow

+Goody Two-T's

+Tweenbow

+Praylors

+Missionary-Style

+T-Squared

+The Fairy Tale

Let us know what your nickname suggestions are in the comments.

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How To End A Date In 30 Seconds Or Less: Hugging

Posted 2/24/12 10:30 am EST by in Funny, Ladies, Relationships, Video


Sometimes it's hard to know when to end a first date hug. You pull out of it prematurely and leave the girl unsatisfied. You also don't want to hang on too long. That may freak her out and make you seem clingy. Whatever you do, do not end a hug as demonstrated in the following hilarious video.

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